Hello worklifers,

I am back with my newsletter. I took a hiatus to enjoy the summer break with my family. Now that schools are starting, and work and life is back in full swing, I thought it would a good time to talk about how to think about making decisions.

Most organizations are opting for a hybrid workplace and one decision for every worklifer, is around “what is the right decision to make when it comes to your unique situation, blended with the protocols set by your organization?” So I want to kick off the fall series for the newsletter with this critical coaching skill around how to think about making decisions.

However, when we find ourselves stuck, we sometimes feel we are at the mercy of work and life.  We feel work and life are happening to us vs. we are being intentional about the direction. When you have this thought or have encountered this feeling, is when you can apply the decision making mindset work to get yourself unstuck.

This pandemic also gave many of us to think intentionally about work and life. We not only made the big decisions, this year, but we also evaluated the daily, weekly decisions and took a step back. Many of us chose to get off the treadmill of a 8:00am-6:00pm routine and rethink what remote and hybrid work meant to us.

I read this really good article that said some of us are now thinking how we fit work into our lives and not the other way around. This is a fascinating thought and something we could not have imagined to have at a community level if it weren’t open to the possibility that work could be completely remote or even hybrid as we return to work.

In this context, decision making becomes key and spending time understanding what is a decision and how to apply it to your work and life can be extremely powerful and a game changer as we approach this post pandemic world. So let’s dive into it.

What is a decision?

A decision is simply a commitment to a thought, feeling and action that creates a result. A decision is a committed action driven from a committed thought. In our early lives we are taught what to believe and what to think and we are not taught to question the thinking that results from other people’s opinions or a result of conditioning or even confirmation bias. This then gets us down the path – “This is how it is supposed to be” instead of living lives we truly desire.

If you think about this in context to embracing hybrid work, you have this opportunity to not let confirmation bias influence you. We can’t let how other people are approaching this for themselves and simply copy their hybrid work and life schedule. If you really choose to ask yourself and reflect on your priorities you could end up making very different decisions which empower you.

For me, first and foremost it is a committed thought. One committed thought for me is to always have my back no matter what. Another committed thought is to make time for self-reflection, rest and intentional scheduling for the full week. The intentional planning will help me enjoy and do all the things I want do during the week & make progress on my goals. The self-reflection allows me dial up and down and re-think the my priorities and goals at end of the week. When, I can make that decision for myself without letting confirmation bias seek in or comparing myself to how others are doing it, I continue to be more authentic and in tune with my values and beliefs. With this, I could go into a week embracing the flexibility with intentional planning during the weekend.

Here are some ideas to move forward with decision making

  • Everything is optional. You don’t have to do anything.
  • There are no right or wrong decisions.
  • The more decisions you make consciously (using your prefrontal cortex) the better.
  1. Everything is optional – We often think this is what we have to do. However, what I want to suggest to you is that everything is optional. You don’t have to do the laundry or have to work on a project. You don’t have to cook meals for your family every day. What we get confused is it doesn’t mean we will change everything. However, there is so much power when you take back control and evaluate your work and life in a deliberate way. Your relationships at work and life, your house, your job, your body, your future. Choosing how to want to think and feel about everything in your life allows you to live a more deliberate life. Thinking of value as it applies to you and to people around you is mind blowing. For example, when I rethought the time I spent on chores like doing my laundry and dishes. I just realized I love to have a clean and organized mind and space. I find so much value in this for me. I also found the value it provides to me and to my family. It is important to think about the choices you are making and what they mean to you. Are they valuable or do you think you have no choice and at the mercy of them. The power question becomes – would I choose this again today? By not making a decision to change something, you are choosing to have it again and again. As you get back to hybrid work as yourself the power question – would I choose this schedule again today or for the week?
  2. There are no right or wrong decisions – The second idea is that there are no right or wrong decisions. This often gets people riled up. This is because we decide what is wrong or right with our thinking. So re-deciding what is wrong or right is always a choice you have. This is what keeps us humans evolving and growing. With the move to hybrid work, you get to decide what is right for you and it would be right or wrong for you. We also struggle to re-decide things we no longer desire. For example, if during the pandemic you found a great way to stay productive and fulfilled with working from home, then deciding not to go back full-time may not be your true desire. We feel re-deciding makes us not be a good person or we are doing wrong by our team, our co-workers, or our kids. But the reality is we don’t control how they choose to think.  When we do this back and forth we create what we call a “decision debt”. These debts keep accruing and we move away from being authentic to ourselves and living our true desires. This then keeps us from loving ourselves and being stuck. The power question becomes – “what is a decision debt in your work or life”? What thought is keeping you in decision debt. Am I making a decision to get out of pain or fear? Make a decision because is going to help you grow, evolve and move forward. Process and clean up that stuck emotion first. An example here is if you are feeling fearful to express to your manager or your family, about how you want to think about the hours you choose to work, then ask yourself why am I feeling fearful? Is it because you fear this will come in your way to move forward in your career? Or do you feel you will lose out on opportunities if you make a different choice than your colleague? Then lean into being vulnerable and have that conversation with someone you trust. Really clean up that thinking, be authentic with your choice and believe in yourself to make that decision. This will help you clear that debt.
  3. Practice making more decisions –The third idea is that the more you make decisions the better. Decision making takes a lot of energy and thoughtfulness, so we don’t want to delay decisions or try to make them in an impulsive moment. We need to consider important decisions ahead of time, given them thought vs. letting them be automatic. It needs to be a conscious process. The decisions about work, self-care, how we talk, how we plan and how we show up in our lives all have huge impact on our results. The way to think of this is to really think about the result you want to create for yourself and then work backwards and think of what you would need to feel in order to take the action. This will allow you to make more decisions and you will be able to test the results you are creating from a very conscious and deliberate place that serves your beliefs. The power question becomes – “What is the result I want in my work and life”? Really define that result for you. One way to define that result is to create a thought that you can choose for yourself. My thought is about always having my back no matter what the situation, ensuring I have time for self-reflection & planning as bookends during my day. This thought then allows me to feel self-compassion for myself. Out of self-compassion I do things such as bake in time for activities & deepen the relationship with myself. I know when I do that I get the results I desire. The only way to get better is to make more decisions using your prefrontal cortex and also apply the above two ideas of understanding everything is a choice and what you think about a decision is what makes it right or wrong. So you really do have the power and don’t have to live in a default mode or building decision debts.

See you next week.

Maithili Vijay Dandige